The Dealiest Brawler
by SuperShadow64
Summary: A parody of Spike TV's show Deadliest Warrior. Each week two brawlers face off in a series of tests to determine who is deadlier
1. Bowser vs King Dedede

**Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Deadliest Warrior, or any Nintendo, Sega, Capcom, and Konami characters.**

Bowser vs. King Dedede

SuperShadow64: The king of the koopas, Bowser show tremendous power using everything from fire breath to the spikes on his back to crush his foes. His opponent, King Dedede, the king of Dream Land, uses an infinite army of Waddle Dees and a jet powered mallet to deal with anyone who stands against him. Today, in this combat dojo, our three scientists have been assembled to determine who is the strongest. Our resident weapons expert Mega Man will set up the tests, Dr. Mario will examine the test dummies to determine how powerful the attacks were, and then Tails will input the data into a simulation.

Mega Man: I personally think that Bowser will take down Dedede; he seems like the kind of character who can deliver a massive amount of damage in only a few hits.

Tails: Bowser has some impressive moves, but King Dedede has a variety of different weapons and tricks at his disposal. Bowser has to have an impressive set of moves if he is going to defeat King Dedede.

SuperShadow64: The first test; smash attacks.

Mega Man: _*set up a sandbag*_ All right Bowser, I think that first we should determine the power of your smash attacks. Now I want you to completely destroy this thing.

Bowser: GWAHHH! _*Bowser charges up the smash attack and destroys the sandbag; slash marks everywhere.*_

Mega Man: Nice! _*examines the sandbag*_ The whole thing is wrecked.

Dr. Mario: You have severe slash marks all over. This is going to result in some serious blood loss and no doubt a KO.

Mega Man: The damage meter says 46% damage, very nice.

SuperShadow64: But how will King Dedede stand up to Bowser's smash attack?

Dedede: You haven't seen anything yet. This hammer will deal worse damage then Bowser will ever hope to. _*Dedede charges up his smash attack and knock the sandbag down to the ground.*_

Mega Man: I've got 33% damage.

Dr. Mario: While there aren't as many external injuries as Bowser's smash attack, there will undoubtedly be some trauma inflicted here. This has the potential to knock a guy unconscious.

Tails: While King Dedede did have some impressive moves, Bowser's smash attack just provided a higher damage percentage and higher change of a KO. Therefore I am giving the edge to Bowser.

SuperShadow64: Bowser receives the edge in smash attacks. But can he keep up his lead? The next attack to be tested is the standard special move. Since Bowser's standard special includes the use of fire, our team must head to the outside testing zone.

Mega Man: Alright Bowser this sandbag is designed to record not just the damage inflicted by your fire breath, but how high the temperature of the sandbag rises.

Bowser: _*Unleashed his fire breath, igniting the sandbag. After 12 seconds, the fire stream decreases in length.*_ GWAHHH!

Mega Man: Damn! The damage meter has reached 96%.

Tails: According to the heat meter, the sandbag has reached a temperature of around 150 degrees Fahrenheit.

Dr. Mario: Skin burns at 130 degrees Fahrenheit. Bowser's fire steam has potential power to cause third degree burns.

King Dedede: You forget one thing. After a while his fire breath lost power.

Bowser: By the time that happens you're already on the ground, burning to a crisp.

Mega Man: _*Sets up another sandbag*_ Alright Dedede what move are you going to be showing us?

Dedede: It's a move called inhale. With this I can suck up and enemy, from there I can shoot them wherever I want.

Mega Man: Alright, let's see what it can do.

Dedede: _*Approaches the bag and swallows it whole then shoots it ten feet away.*_

Mega Man: Alright we have a damage reading of 10%. _*Examines the sandbag*_ It's actually in good shape. If this was a real battle this guy, with out a doubt, would still be able to fight.

Dr. Mario: While Dedede's inhale could cause small disorientation, it's nothing serious enough to KO the opponent. Bowser, on the other hand, has an attack that was able to create almost 100% damage. Bowser gets the edge, no doubt about it.

SuperShadow64: Bowser receives the edge in standard special attacks.

Mega Man: Now we will test your side special moves. Dedede, you'll go first this time.

Dedede: Alright now this move is called Waddle Dee throw. I throw three different types of soldiers at the enemy. First one I'll show you is Waddle Dee. After throwing him he stays on the field for a little while allowing me to throw him again. _*Dedede throws the Waddle Dee at the sandbag, but the bag remains standing.*_

Mega Man: 5% damage.

Dedede: This next one is Waddle Do. After he is thrown he wanders around the stage for a while and shoots a laser from his eye. _*Dedede throws the Waddle Do at the sandbag. While the bag still remains standing, Waddle Do's laser eyes is enough to knock it down.*_

Tails: We have 3% damage on impact, but his laser eye was enough to bring the damage up to 15%.

Dedede: Finally is Gordo. Once I throw him he goes away but his does provide enough strength to deal a good amount of damage. _*Gordo is thrown, knocking the sandbag down instantly.*_

Mega Man: 22% damage very nice.

Bowser: Those three are chosen at random though, and it seems that Gordo Is the only good soldier you have. Luckily for me you only have a one in three chance of using him. Now behold my side special move, the flying slam. _*Bowser grabs the sandbag and leaps into the air. He brings the sandbag under him as he slams to the ground.*_

Mega Man: 18% damage.

Dr. Mario: That slam can cause a lot of disorientation plus break a few bones.

Mega Man: We have seen smash attacks, standard special moves, and side special moves and every time Bowser comes out on top with an attack that does a substantial amount of damage. I hope Dedede has a secret weapon of some kind, or else Bowser will tear him apart.

SuperShadow64: Bowser receives the edge in side special attacks.

Tails: Alright now we are going to test your up special moves. These moves are also called recovery moves because they are designed to save you if you fall of the stage to we will be testing the attack strength and ability to keep you safe.

Bowser: Behold the whirling fortress. _*Bowser spun around, hitting the sandbag with the spikes on his back. Then Bowser jumped off of the stage and used the whirling fortress to make it back to the edge of the stage.*_

Tails: Well, you were able to make it back to the stage, that's good. You also dealt 18% damage to the sandbag.

Dedede: That's good, but you only made it to the edge of the stage. Watch as the real master shows you how it's done with my super Dedede jump. _*Dedede jumped high up into the air and slammed down on the sandbag. Then he jumped off of the stage and performs the Super Dedede Jump again, landing close to the center of the stage.*_

Mega Man: You were able to deal 15% damage. While not as good as Bowser, you are still able to do a better job at saving yourself.

SuperShadow64: But our scientists are divided on who should get the edge.

Tails: Bowser's flying fortress was able to inflict more damage then Dedede could.

Mega Man: That doesn't matter when Bowser only inflicted 3% more damage then Dedede. Plus Bowser could only make it to the edge of the stage; Dedede came close to the center.

SuperShadow64: With our two experts divided it's up to Dr. Mario to deliver the verdict.

Dr. Mario: Bowser's 3% damage difference isn't enough to tip things in his favor. Dedede's attack proved to be far more effective. Bottom line, if I was about to fall of the stage, I would rather have the Super Dedede Jump then the Flying Fortress.

SuperShadow64: King Dedede receives the edge in recovery moves. For Dedede's attack, a gel head and torso will be used. This torso it coated with ballistic gel to provide the same consistency of human flesh

Mega Man: With only two tests left, it's time to test the down special move. Now Dedede I understand your move can be charge up.

Dedede: That's right this here is my Jet Hammer. I can not only charge it up, but I can move around as I charge it up. This allows me to avoid my opponent during the short time it takes for this hammer to reach full power. _*Dedede charges up the hammer to full power. One swing knocks the gel torso to the ground.*_

Tails: Incredible!

Mega Man: 30% damage, very nice. Not only that, but this attack has the potential to cause a lot of trauma if the hammer hits the brain.

Dr. Mario: You hit the torso right in the ribs. With the amount of force used in the swing there is a 90% chance that some of the ribs bones will be broken.

Mega Man: Alright Bowser, your turn. Let's see what your Bowser Bomb can do.

Bowser: _*Jumps into the air and slams down onto the gel torso.*_

Tails: Ok, we have 24% damage.

Dr. Mario: What we are seeing here is the same thing that we saw with the Super Dedede Jump. While there was more power this time around, massive disorientation and blood trauma still occur.

Mega Man: The Bowser Bomb was good, but completely uncontrollable. With the Jet Hammer, Dedede can move around while preparing an attack. Bowser's only chance of landing the Bowser Bomb is if the enemy is cornered or distracted.

SuperShadow64: King Dedede receives the edge in down special moves.

Mega Man: Time for the last test. Here we test your most powerful attack; the final smash. Here we will test not only the damage cause but how effective is it for causing a KO.

Bowser: _*Approaches the sandbag and transforms into Giga Bowser. He delivers an onslaught of attacks toward the sandbag and throws it off of the stage.*_

Mega Man: Damn! You caused 106% damage, followed by an easy KO.

Dedede: But that sandbag was standing still. I'm going to be on the move. That 106% damage happening to me is very unlikely.

Tails: Alright Dedede, your turn.

Dedede: Alright time for my Waddle Dee Army. _*Dedede whistles as Waddle Dees, Waddle Dos, and Gordos appear everywhere. In all the confusion, the sandbag gets dragged off of the stage.*_

Tails: We have 36% damage, but the pattern that the Waddle Dees are released is random every time so it might not always be 36% damage.

Dr. Mario: When you have and attack where a crap load of stuff is coming at you from every direction which causes a great deal of confusion. You become unable to predict incoming attacks. This increases you chances of getting KO'd.

SuperShadow64: King Dedede receives the edge in final smashes. With the testing complete, Tails will input the data into the battle simulator. To prevent the match being one by a lucky shot, Tails will simulate the battle 1000 times. Bowser vs. King Dedede, check back here in one hour to find out who is the deadliest brawler.

One final note: If you have any two characters that you want to see face off then place you choices into your reviews. Remember while constructive reviews are always welcome, flames will be removed.


	2. Bowser vs King Dedede Conclusion

**Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Deadliest Warrior, and any Nintendo, Sega, Capcom, and Konami characters.**

SuperShadow64: With the testing complete, Tails will input the data into the battle simulator. To prevent the match being one by a lucky shot, Tails will simulate the battle 1000 times. Bowser vs. King Dedede, the battle begins now.

Bowser enters the Final Destination. As he looks around he senses something is wrong. He turns around and knocks away a Waddle Dee that was thrown at him. Standing before him was none other then King Dedede. Bowser charged toward Dedede and used his fire breath. Dedede jumped out of the way using his Super Dedede Jump. As he landed Bowser was knocked away. Dedede ran in to use in Inhale attack, but Bowser grabbed him and used the Flying Slam. Before Dedede could get back up, Bowser used his Bowser Bomb.

Bowser began to walk away from his defeated foe. But when his back was turned, King Dedede got up and charged his Jet Hammer. Bowser turned around and was launched away by the Jet Hammer. Bowser's Whirling Fortress was able to keep him from falling to his death. Bowser got back onto the stage only to be knocked down again by Dedede's smash attack. After using to Whirling Fortress to save himself again, Bowser jumped into the air and used the Bowser Bomb. Dedede got out of the way in time, but Bowser was back in action.

Bowser charged with his fire breath, forcing King Dedede back to the edge of the stage. Then the smash ball flew across the field. Bowser ran for it and unleashed Giga Bowser. Dedede tried desperately to escape, but Giga Bowser knocked Dedede off the stage. As Giga Bowser changed back into Bowser, Dedede used the super Dedede Jump to get to safety.

Dedede landed hit after hit with his hammer, not giving Bowser a second to move. Bowser broke free with his shield. The two just collided with move after move. The two were evenly matched, and both worn out.

Once again the smash ball appeared. Bowser was caught off guard by the Smash Ball and was knocked to his feet by Dedede. Dedede seized the Smash Ball and summoned is Waddle Dee Army. Waddle Dees appeared everywhere and forced Bowser off the stage. Bowser tried to use the Whirling Fortress to save himself, but just missed the stage, and was KO'd. Dedede spun his hammer into the air and laughed at his defeated foe.

SuperShadow64: The winner is King Dedede.

Tails: Out of 1000 battles, King Dedede won 80% of them, while Bowser was only able two win 20%.

Mega Man: The biggest deciding factor in this battle was King Dedede's final smash. It was able to cause enough confusion to catch Bowser off guard and kill him.

Bowser: It was just a stupid simulation. If that pathetic excuse for a king every meet me on the real field of battle, I would crush him in an instant.

King Dedede: As expected that overgrown turtle is nothing. If he could lose to a plumber, then he doesn't stand a chance against me.

SuperShadow64: Meta Knight, mysterious swordsman of Dream Land, versus Ike, leader of the Greil Mercenaries. The battle begins…next week on Deadliest Brawler.


End file.
